1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,500
The following programme contains strong
language.

2
00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,880
As soon as I'm 18, we can marry anyway.

3
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,740
Great. So wait till you're 18, then.

4
00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:16,580
I can't wait for you to come home.

5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:17,980
I'm counting the hours.

6
00:00:17,981 --> 00:00:19,479
What have you got me, ma 'am?

7
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,499
Oh, Em.

8
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:23,600
A proper loving, ma 'am. I know you
proper do.

9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,100
Oh, my God, I don't know your name.

10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,410
Hey, Sean.

11
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:28,810
Hiya, I'm Stella.

12
00:00:55,199 --> 00:00:56,760
Aw, this one's Ben.

13
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,930
You do look like you've got a book in
your hand already.

14
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,410
Oh, yeah.

15
00:01:07,590 --> 00:01:08,640
That one's you.

16
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:10,870
That's the 12 -week one, I think.

17
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,149
Oh, hang on a minute.

18
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:13,590
Compare them with mine, then.

19
00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,790
They look alike, mine, don't they?

20
00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:19,370
Really? Yeah, definitely.

21
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,189
What about Luke? You got any of them?

22
00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,290
Not a scan, no.

23
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:27,730
But somewhere... Ah, here it is.

24
00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:29,880
Aw. Aw.

25
00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:31,360
Who's your new bird?

26
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:32,610
An hour old, eh?

27
00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:35,080
Looks quite cross -minded, me, even
then.

28
00:01:35,081 --> 00:01:36,169
Shut up.

29
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:37,550
Joking, I am. He's cute.

30
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,850
Em, I've done your tomatoes.

31
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:41,850
Oh, a nice one, Benny boy.

32
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:45,420
You want the sugar on top, do you? No,
on the side. No, that's lovely.

33
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:49,210
Lactic bands I liked.

34
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:50,970
Just chewing them.

35
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:52,560
Ten at a time.

36
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,300
It says here that Stella means star in
Latin.

37
00:02:11,301 --> 00:02:12,659
I know it do.

38
00:02:12,660 --> 00:02:13,710
Got any jam, Stella?

39
00:02:13,711 --> 00:02:16,859
I thought you was doing a family tree
thing, not a science project.

40
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:19,619
I am, but the more details you give, the
more marks you get.

41
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,260
You seriously need to get a life.

42
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,010
There you go.

43
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,360
What's Emma mean, anyway?

44
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:26,670
Very wide.

45
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:27,950
Sure, I've no doubt.

46
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:29,390
Tell her, ma 'am.

47
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,530
Means unique.

48
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,400
Aw, thanks, babe.

49
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:38,140
Right. I am thinking of getting bunk
beds for when Luke gets home.

50
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:41,170
Oh, can I have a top bunk, Mum? Can I?
Can I? I don't know.

51
00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:42,650
I've got to buy him first.

52
00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:45,290
How much do you reckon I got in here?

53
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,309
Where did you sleep before then, Luke?

54
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:49,540
He had a bed set, didn't he, down Lambie
Way?

55
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,150
Can't go back there, of course.

56
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:53,970
Can't put the lilo, I told her. We daft
men.

57
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,850
He could go in halfway out.

58
00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:57,570
That's what most prisoners do.

59
00:02:57,790 --> 00:02:58,840
Then they get a tag.

60
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:01,630
Would he have a tag, Mum? On a probation
officer? No.

61
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,910
Sonny, look, this kind of thing.

62
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:04,980
Let's see.

63
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,830
My wedding sari. I fancy something like
this.

64
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:10,990
Oh, that's nice.

65
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,759
When are we going shopping, then?

66
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,810
Oh, don't worry.

67
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,180
Tanisha's sorting it.

68
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,120
She likes doing stuff like that.

69
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,250
But I want to come.

70
00:03:19,251 --> 00:03:21,039
Well, it'll probably be a week's day.

71
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,720
We'll probably have to go Cardiff.

72
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,930
So?

73
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,460
Don't you want me there?

74
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,610
Do, obviously.

75
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,710
But if you're busy, it's fine, that's
all.

76
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,270
Come on, see you.

77
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:32,970
Emma?

78
00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,460
Can I have a lift to school?

79
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,220
When you get in the carpet, it's on the
list.

80
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,340
It's always going to be a list.

81
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,150
Yep.

82
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:54,910
Ta -da!

83
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,250
What do you think?

84
00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,110
Yeah, nice.

85
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,110
I'm not lying, Paul. If you'd seen him
first thing, he looked like Gandalf.

86
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:04,020
He said I should have got proud of you.

87
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,620
Oh, my God! Yes, you did!

88
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,800
Oh, psst, volume down.

89
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,280
He said I could make a career of it.

90
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,400
You've got a career by ear, good boy.

91
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,520
I know. I'm running off my feet.

92
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,190
Hey, it's not my fault there's a
recession on.

93
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,220
People aren't dying like they used to.

94
00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:21,449
All right?

95
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:27,220
Now, 14 down, seven letters, B something
R, something something something D.

96
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,210
Brother!

97
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,370
I thank you.

98
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:37,980
Crushing your gyro, is it?

99
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,140
No, no. Little Alan's college transfer.

100
00:04:40,141 --> 00:04:42,779
I had to do five pounds every fortnight
without fail.

101
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:45,730
Oh. How long have you been doing that,
then? Three weeks now.

102
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,350
Building a little nest egg, I have.
Carl?

103
00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:50,710
All right, Chuck?

104
00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:52,579
How's my fellow grandad holding up?

105
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:53,660
Go, Grease Lightning.

106
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,859
You're coasting through the heat lab
trials.

107
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,880
Grease Lightning. Go, Grease Lightning.

108
00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:00,300
I've booked the stag, my friends.

109
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,770
It's done.

110
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,780
A Grease the musical theme weekend in
Western Superman.

111
00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:06,780
I'm thinking of going as Kaniki.

112
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,320
Everybody will want to be Danny, but...

113
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,740
I'm going for the curveball route.

114
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:14,410
Stunning. And that's what Sunhill
wanted, eh?

115
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,570
Sorry.

116
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:20,710
Sorry.

117
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,599
Hiya, Scal. All right, Al? All right
still?

118
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,799
I couldn't push in a minute, could I,
Dave? I want a bit of a schedule.

119
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,350
Well, there's others waiting, eh?
Morning, love. Wow, that's a big one.

120
00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:21,400
Yeah, people aren't dying like they used
to, apparently.

121
00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:30,280
What's going on?

122
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:32,160
Al?

123
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:34,780
Dick the Kick.

124
00:06:36,641 --> 00:06:38,669
He's dead.

125
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:39,720
No!

126
00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:43,740
Who's Dick the Kick?

127
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,020
I need a drink.

128
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:47,410
He's a legend, Bob. He's our legend.

129
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,730
What's all the kick been there?

130
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:53,450
He claimed to fame.

131
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:55,780
Dick.

132
00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:59,100
He scored the winning kick against...
The old black's in 53.

133
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,280
From a 90 -degree angle. 90.

134
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,170
Some people call it a mathematic
impossibility.

135
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:08,670
Oh, God.

136
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,000
The whole town will be devastated.

137
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,650
I know.

138
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,020
They'll bring him up the club now.

139
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,700
He was returning.

140
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,590
Oh.

141
00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:22,790
Dick's coming home?

142
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,230
Yeah.

143
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:26,110
That's him, yeah.

144
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:27,560
Ty Davis there.

145
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:28,999
The chairman of the rugby club.

146
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,050
He just rang me.

147
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,510
What's the thing you've got to do at the
funeral like?

148
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,240
I am over.

149
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,300
Bob, you've got quite a bit of work to
do.

150
00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:53,919
Come in.

151
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:54,970
Yeah?

152
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:56,260
Come on, darling.

153
00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:04,650
I'm alive!

154
00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:09,090
Mr. Davis?

155
00:08:27,409 --> 00:08:28,970
Ray. Is he having a stroke?

156
00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:33,599
Sorry.

157
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:35,189
It's all the emotion it is.

158
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,090
Come on, we've just finished laying him.

159
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:41,250
You were saying about Dick's neighbour?

160
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,400
Mrs Richard, yeah.

161
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:45,070
Poor woman found him dead on the car,
the effie.

162
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:46,570
Like Elvis he was.

163
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:48,740
In a jumpsuit.

164
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:53,390
Did Mrs Richard spring the body herself?

165
00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:55,160
No.

166
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:56,470
She's 96 months.

167
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,680
I sent a couple of the rugby lads down
Crick for him.

168
00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:01,630
One's a butcher, see?

169
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:08,710
So he was refrigerated, like... They
didn't use the oak, obviously.

170
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,500
Out of respect.

171
00:09:23,870 --> 00:09:28,800
See this? This is the very same ball
that Dick the Kick kicked.

172
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:32,350
You've got to be laid to rest with him,
don't you think?

173
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,030
Oh,

174
00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:37,440
I haven't stopped, Daddy.

175
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,899
I've had Max Boyce, Barry, John and
Michael Ball on the blow this morning,

176
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,220
asking when the funeral is.

177
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:44,860
Everyone's saying it.

178
00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:47,970
You'll need a proper big send -off like
in the olden days.

179
00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:49,440
We've got to make it huge.

180
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,020
And like him.

181
00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,970
So, Paula, what do you reckon?

182
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,360
Can you do it?

183
00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:05,490
Can you give Dick a funeral he'll never
forget?

184
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:17,820
What do we want?

185
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,970
We want impact, we want style, we want
class.

186
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:24,489
One of these mushy peas, though. No,
thanks, I'm trying not to.

187
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:25,639
So what are you saying, Ed?

188
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,200
We're going to make a big splash.

189
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:28,430
Exactly.

190
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,999
We want death like you've never seen it
done before. A funeral so huge the whole

191
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,200
town will be wanting one.

192
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,670
Speculate to accelerate, like.
Therefore.

193
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:39,280
And get the old Simpsons funeral
carriage out.

194
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:44,159
Daddy and Di can lead the procession in
full cheap mourners, whatchamacallit. Di

195
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,210
Davis or Di Cosh?

196
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:47,260
Di Cosh, of course. I would die.

197
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,520
I think we should have a band and all.

198
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,810
Brass.

199
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:56,379
And replica rugby jerseys from 1953 for
the coffin bearers to wear. Oh, with the

200
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:58,310
number 10s on the back, I lie in them
on.

201
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,460
My cousin Gemma done that in Faleraki.

202
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,030
With jerseys?

203
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,810
Thongs. Oh.

204
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:11,460
OK, I am seeing a huge open casket.

205
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,240
So he can lie in state with the mourners
traipsing past.

206
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:17,439
That's the ticket.

207
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,119
What about the wake? What do we do for
food?

208
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,159
Finger buffet at the club.

209
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,210
Oh! Oh,

210
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:24,000
sorry. Yahoo!

211
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,240
I tell you what, this funeral is going
to be major.

212
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:34,899
I've just seen Hugh Edwards interviewing
someone down London.

213
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,460
Bought a new dress for it, I have.

214
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,390
And I'm booked in for a Jamaican
tropical at the dentist.

215
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,710
He's a dentist?

216
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,670
Yeah, they've got to diversify these
days, Paul.

217
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,990
And that dental nurse is a genius with a
tongue gun, apparently.

218
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:50,670
Hmm.

219
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,030
Richard!

220
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,740
Oh, right, Prash. How you caught, Ben?

221
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,170
I'm bearing up, Bill.

222
00:12:11,171 --> 00:12:13,719
You haven't seen little Alan, have you?

223
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,040
He's gone rogue on me again.

224
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,519
Always does it when we come here.

225
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,840
I should keep him on a leash.

226
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,670
There he is.

227
00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:24,000
There you are.

228
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,020
They want me to say a few words at
Dick's funeral, like, die vast me.

229
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,640
Die, Cot, or die devious.

230
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:30,890
Die devious.

231
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,750
Don't suppose you'd have a gander when I
got you?

232
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,940
I don't know if there's an I or a Y at
the end of Mugabe.

233
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:40,890
Run! Run!

234
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,130
Cots in a bucket!

235
00:12:49,131 --> 00:12:52,949
Oh, he's all right. He's well insulated.

236
00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:54,010
Oh, little Al.

237
00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:55,900
All right.

238
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,050
Hiya. Long time no see.

239
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,410
Right. Well, can't stop.

240
00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:02,170
You don't do big shops, see.

241
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:03,320
Sends him demented.

242
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,500
Come on. Come on.

243
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:07,060
See you again then, all right? Ta -ra.
Hey, mate.

244
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,070
Hey, how was Emma's party?

245
00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:10,829
You glad you went in the end?

246
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,270
Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

247
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,630
Thanks for making me see sad.

248
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:17,400
Of course, now I've got a fork out for a
bloody wedding.

249
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,780
Bone -fed.

250
00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,450
Yep. You both in there yourself?

251
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:22,390
Yeah, why?

252
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,810
Nothing.

253
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,360
Just can't imagine it, that's all.

254
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:30,680
Sean, I'm not just a pretty face, you
know. I am also a qualified carpenter.

255
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:35,039
Right. And if you help me load this load
onto the trike, I will buy you a warm

256
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,619
tea and a polystyrene cap. She's living
the dream. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a big,

257
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:42,639
big city and the lights are on. Emma,
come on. Love is half won. You're going

258
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,339
be late.

259
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:44,390
I'm changing my...

260
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,570
So what's the latest? When are the
weddings, sorry?

261
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,760
When are we going shopping, like?

262
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,390
So now?

263
00:13:55,560 --> 00:14:00,660
What it is, there's a shop my mum wants
to go to. But it's got a waiting list,

264
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:03,140
so... So it could be weeks, Emma.

265
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,810
We haven't got weeks.

266
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:10,519
We've got the hen do, then her last
exam, then the wedding and the baby.

267
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,570
all planned out.

268
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,440
Better. Cups for rubbing.

269
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,450
Right, strong.

270
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,420
I'm up to dig her arms in here.

271
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:42,810
Hey, Bobby.

272
00:14:42,811 --> 00:14:47,239
While I'm here, I don't suppose you'd
have a quick gander at my speech, could

273
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,960
you? For the service, like... I can't
remember if it's Pol Pot or Pole Pot.

274
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,690
Ain't he the one who done this in Dormer
for Cowell?

275
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:01,390
Chessie, Maur.

276
00:15:01,391 --> 00:15:04,799
Never mind it with the ugly stick. This
lot have been bludgeoned with it.

277
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,439
We can't have him front and centre at
the funeral, can we? That's what the

278
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,000
British media's going to think.

279
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,710
This is Wales's reputation on the line
here, Daddy.

280
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,460
And I've got to do something about it.

281
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,680
Oh, the top, that is.

282
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,500
The top of the pond.

283
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,370
We've got a bit of a problem with their
mourners.

284
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,580
No now, Bobs.

285
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,010
Use your initiative, yeah?

286
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:47,190
So, uh, how long you got this clobber
for, then?

287
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:48,880
24 hours.

288
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:54,250
Starting about 40 minutes ago.

289
00:15:57,110 --> 00:15:58,430
Oh, this is amazing.

290
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,310
Where in God's name did you find it?

291
00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:07,969
Married that chap from Bosnia, and he
didn't have no relatives, so he shipped

292
00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:08,749
them in.

293
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,869
Got them from Vaughan, didn't she, ma
'am?

294
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,920
Yeah, Vaughan have got all sorts of
them.

295
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:17,330
And what is it, like an extra agent for
you there? Yeah, based in Newport.

296
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,210
It's going to cost, mind.

297
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,050
I'll stick it on the bill.

298
00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:22,660
Right, come on then.

299
00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:24,230
Let the dog see the rabbit.

300
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,890
Never mind, don't you?

301
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,400
Lift by you.

302
00:16:27,401 --> 00:16:28,889
Don't spread the paint, Megan.

303
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:30,590
Oh, money hasn't started yet.

304
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,480
Oh, hello there, Ron.

305
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,050
I'm looking to book around 40 of you
best clients, please.

306
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,720
If I write, we should have built them
upstairs.

307
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,700
Bob, fuck him this morning. I think it's
a jersey.

308
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,130
OK, fine.

309
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,700
Um, yeah.

310
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:52,490
Ooh, now, will Scott be able to do
anything about this moustache?

311
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,660
Oh, excellent.

312
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,160
God, it's like another prison cell in
here.

313
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,360
What's becoming all improved at?

314
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,160
No bars on the windows and a lot of
love.

315
00:17:06,161 --> 00:17:08,559
Stop worrying. You'll give yourself an
ulcer.

316
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,610
Or a gland.

317
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,270
We'll see ourselves.

318
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,210
See you later.

319
00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:14,369
Bye.

320
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:23,900
Del! Visitor!

321
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:25,770
Go on up, kid.

322
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,270
I like the colour.

323
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,899
Suits you.

324
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:37,859
What are you doing here?

325
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:38,910
Oh, that's nice.

326
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,560
Came to help with the bunk beds.

327
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:41,790
Really?

328
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,150
Why?

329
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,640
Wanted to impress you. Keep up.

330
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,370
Stella!

331
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,140
Stella, it's the jerseys.

332
00:17:53,141 --> 00:17:55,659
They haven't sent no number ones and
Dick was number ten.

333
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:59,090
You said everybody had to wear a
replica. They've only got noughts to

334
00:18:04,639 --> 00:18:09,560
Maybe it's, like, symbolic, like... Like
he were a ten and now he's a naught.

335
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,900
You're not helping, sweetheart.

336
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,720
In fact, you're freaking me out.

337
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,820
Here's Bobby, your fella.

338
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,610
OK.

339
00:18:19,611 --> 00:18:20,639
Hang on.

340
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,690
Give it here a minute.

341
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,120
How about...

342
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:39,560
Angels and roses.

343
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:41,630
What's he like, Stella?

344
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:44,200
Brains and biceps.

345
00:18:44,201 --> 00:18:47,649
He can come to the funeral. He could be
a bearer. You could be a bearer. Can he

346
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:50,529
be a bearer, Stella? Can he, can he, can
he? All right, menpops, calm down.

347
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,910
You're getting hysterical.

348
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,010
Sean, look, it's up to you, like.

349
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,390
Do you want a bear dick?

350
00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:07,699
They've pulled out all the stops, I'm
telling you. Princess Di's one had

351
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:08,619
on this.

352
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:10,999
And, of course, Bobby's on the verge of
a breakdown.

353
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,800
It was a shown fellow was helping you.

354
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:15,480
He's just a decorated fellow.

355
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,360
Bobby thinks he's a beast, needs.

356
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:18,810
Oh!

357
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,280
What? What are you grinning at?

358
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,650
You.

359
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:26,580
My boy's coming home in a month and that
will make me smile.

360
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,250
You're mad you are.

361
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,459
It is a month, isn't it?

362
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,720
I've got time, haven't I?

363
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:31,850
For what?

364
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:33,510
Oh, nothing.

365
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,270
Hey, I don't want you outside with a
banner and balloons and all that. No

366
00:19:37,271 --> 00:19:40,439
Yanto's a man, Donat, and he got his
head kicked in. All right, keep your

367
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,490
on.

368
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,940
Oh, I just made you something, I have.

369
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:45,620
It's not finished yet.

370
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:47,360
That's all right, then.

371
00:19:47,361 --> 00:19:50,479
Whatever's the price for you and all.

372
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:51,530
Really?

373
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,810
Like what?

374
00:19:52,811 --> 00:19:56,459
Well, you haven't got no one pregnant of
you.

375
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,510
What?

376
00:19:57,511 --> 00:20:01,839
Oh, my God, you're not bringing any of
this, are you?

377
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,729
Yeah. Mum, actually, bonfire Dave. Just
don't give him nothing flammable to play

378
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:06,780
with.

379
00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:14,850
I do worry, obviously, about you coming
home.

380
00:20:14,851 --> 00:20:16,369
I know.

381
00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:18,169
Because you know what people are like.

382
00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:20,210
They can be battered bastards, Presh.

383
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:24,360
They never forgive and they always
remember. And they always remember,

384
00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:29,350
Adele, I've got you on my side, haven't
I?

385
00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:30,700
Yeah.

386
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,040
Me and Bumper are dead.

387
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:48,800
How many uncles did you have, Gumpa?

388
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,450
Two.

389
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:51,770
What was it, three?

390
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:54,100
Four. You forgot Glyn.

391
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,730
Very sad.

392
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:58,380
Auto -erotic asphyxiation.

393
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,970
Where they hang themselves with an
orange.

394
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:03,400
Lovely man, wasn't he, Ken?

395
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:04,790
Salt to the earth.

396
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:07,670
Leave it.

397
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,200
So, you had four uncles.

398
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,480
I got two on Dad's side.

399
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:17,910
I'm on his Luca.

400
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:19,540
On Rob Morgan's side, you mean?

401
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:20,870
Who's Rob Morgan?

402
00:21:20,871 --> 00:21:22,239
Luke's dad.

403
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,290
We don't count him.

404
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,780
But I have to. He's a family tree.

405
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,240
Just put father unknown.

406
00:21:27,241 --> 00:21:29,949
Don't be so bloody minded, Megan. He was
only a boy, man.

407
00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,830
He was man enough to do you -know -what.

408
00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:36,490
And I'll thank you not to mention his
name again in this house or your

409
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,390
Why is Nana so dramatic, Gumpa?

410
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:47,169
I've no idea, Kate, but as a general
rule, you'll find life's a bit easier if

411
00:21:47,170 --> 00:21:48,220
you do what she says.

412
00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:51,190
Hiya. Hello, love.

413
00:21:51,950 --> 00:21:53,000
Sorry I'm late.

414
00:21:53,290 --> 00:21:54,470
Takes longer on the bus.

415
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,870
Mum, Gumpa's uncle killed himself with
an orange.

416
00:22:15,790 --> 00:22:17,070
The worst day of my life.

417
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:18,820
Me too, girl.

418
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:23,450
Nadine, didn't recognise you fresh.

419
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:24,800
What do you reckon?

420
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,600
Well... I know, so natural, innit? You
think I was born like this?

421
00:22:28,601 --> 00:22:29,949
All right.

422
00:22:29,950 --> 00:22:31,940
They were doing two for the price of
one.

423
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:35,440
Carl said that they looked like Kelly
Brick.

424
00:22:35,490 --> 00:22:37,270
Did they beat me on a gown?

425
00:22:39,630 --> 00:22:42,040
Daddy, that's quite racist, what you
just said.

426
00:22:42,771 --> 00:22:47,039
What, are you matching up school with
the new boys?

427
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,780
Aye, but it's educational, innit?

428
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,150
Death?

429
00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:52,310
I suppose so.

430
00:22:52,311 --> 00:22:55,499
We get in the show on the road, then, do
we? Because I'm maddening up the clan.

431
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,179
I want to make sure we get a good seat.

432
00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:58,230
Come in, do we?

433
00:22:58,231 --> 00:23:00,319
Come on, boys.

434
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:04,080
I'm not right.

435
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:10,260
Oh, come on.

436
00:23:11,111 --> 00:23:17,519
Riding crop and everything. It would
have been criminal not to use it.

437
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,640
Too much information.

438
00:23:18,641 --> 00:23:21,319
Yeah, of course. No need to worry about
bobs.

439
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,459
I only had to sort the headsets, the
tribute song and the flowers.

440
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:27,219
And if it weren't for Stell, we wouldn't
have no jerseys neither.

441
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,339
Yeah, well, we got there in the end,
didn't we?

442
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,570
Correction. We got there in the end. Me
and her.

443
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,240
Well, you can seal the coffin.

444
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,300
And good luck, because that ball ain't
going nowhere.

445
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,550
But how am I supposed to... It was your
initiative.

446
00:23:47,889 --> 00:23:49,630
Amen. Sorry, Bette.

447
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:55,130
Oh, we heard church people say they are
in the holy way.

448
00:23:55,470 --> 00:23:59,810
There are strange things happening every
day.

449
00:24:10,790 --> 00:24:15,010
Bobby Joe to Paula. Pai, is the eagle
ready to fly?

450
00:24:15,210 --> 00:24:16,260
You want him out?

451
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,740
It's cold, isn't it? Can we get going?

452
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,320
Yes. You soft sods. Right then.

453
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,690
I'll be at the back.

454
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,260
And the music? Are we good to go?

455
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,730
For God's sake, will you just get on
with it?

456
00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:36,040
Bobby Joe to Stella Bella. The keys are
clear to Tinkle.

457
00:24:52,690 --> 00:24:54,490
Oprah, Steve, Saul, Matt. Telling it.

458
00:25:36,679 --> 00:25:38,160
How excited are you?

459
00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:40,230
About the funeral?

460
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:41,620
Emma's wedding sari.

461
00:25:41,860 --> 00:25:44,780
Of course, you'll have to tie it so it
covers up the bump.

462
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:47,440
She's really starting to show, no?

463
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:48,860
Still, so excited.

464
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,000
Shame about the wait, isn't this fine?

465
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,700
There'll be no waiting listed.

466
00:25:53,710 --> 00:25:55,330
The holly silks, I can assure you.

467
00:25:55,570 --> 00:25:59,609
It's very, um, bargain -basement, if you
catch my drift. But that's the shop

468
00:25:59,610 --> 00:26:02,989
that Emma wanted, so that's where we'll
get it. That Emma wanted? And please

469
00:26:02,990 --> 00:26:06,509
don't take this the wrong way, Stella,
but Tanisha and I, we would like to go

470
00:26:06,510 --> 00:26:07,560
halves.

471
00:26:08,850 --> 00:26:10,900
Don't, I don't want to hear another
word.

472
00:26:11,310 --> 00:26:12,930
I'm sadly going to break the bank.

473
00:26:13,810 --> 00:26:17,870
After all, this may be my, our only
chance to buy a wedding, sorry.

474
00:26:18,790 --> 00:26:20,410
Well, what about Jasmine, dear?

475
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,040
We're not sure she's the marrying kind.

476
00:26:23,041 --> 00:26:26,759
Much more likely to have a string of
purely physical encounters, if you know

477
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,810
what I mean.

478
00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:31,790
Mum!

479
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,560
Hi, Steph. Hiya. Hey, you two. I've got
a boon to pick with you.

480
00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:38,910
Oh, now.

481
00:26:38,911 --> 00:26:42,039
I've just been chatting with Jack and
Tana about the wedding, sorry.

482
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,420
They say they want to go home.

483
00:26:43,540 --> 00:26:45,670
Right. You know they do.

484
00:26:45,671 --> 00:26:49,789
And that's why you picked a cheapo sari
shop, so your old mother wouldn't look

485
00:26:49,790 --> 00:26:51,129
skint in front of the in -laws.

486
00:26:51,130 --> 00:26:54,260
Oh, look, don't have a go now. She's
only thinking of you, still.

487
00:26:55,110 --> 00:26:57,330
Bugger. Don't worry about the money.

488
00:26:57,770 --> 00:26:58,970
I've thought something.

489
00:26:58,971 --> 00:27:03,289
My auntie Paula's going to give me a few
quid for helping out today, anyway.

490
00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:04,730
Aw, it's my mum. Cheers, still.

491
00:27:05,990 --> 00:27:08,230
Now, all my babies under one roof again
soon.

492
00:27:08,570 --> 00:27:10,010
When's he getting out, then?

493
00:27:10,450 --> 00:27:12,250
Two... No, four weeks tomorrow.

494
00:27:12,970 --> 00:27:15,190
Aw, son's never met him, have you, babe?
No.

495
00:27:15,770 --> 00:27:18,170
He got sent down exactly a month before
we met.

496
00:27:18,510 --> 00:27:19,560
Aw.

497
00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:30,550
Sad old day, isn't it, Al?

498
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,650
You've lost a true hero.

499
00:27:34,190 --> 00:27:35,240
Aye.

500
00:27:35,390 --> 00:27:36,490
Aye. Aye.

501
00:27:36,491 --> 00:27:42,489
Listen, Ken, I know you've had to make a
fair few speeches in your time. True.

502
00:27:42,490 --> 00:27:43,469
Has he?

503
00:27:43,470 --> 00:27:46,449
So I was wondering if I could call upon
your expertise in the field.

504
00:27:46,450 --> 00:27:47,989
Do you want him to make a speech?

505
00:27:47,990 --> 00:27:51,809
No, no, no. I want him to read my... I
thought I had asked him to say a few

506
00:27:51,810 --> 00:27:52,890
words about Dick.

507
00:27:53,430 --> 00:27:54,850
Die dearest or die costh?

508
00:27:55,510 --> 00:27:56,560
Dearest.

509
00:27:56,990 --> 00:27:58,040
Aye, go on then, kid.

510
00:28:13,911 --> 00:28:21,079
When they're going to let us in, man,
Carl, honestly, it's disgusting keeping

511
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,239
out here like a bunch of dogs.

512
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,980
We're all grieving, for God's sake.

513
00:28:23,981 --> 00:28:24,959
Hush a minute, you.

514
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,940
Anyway, Rob Morgan was.

515
00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:30,370
Come up from Georgetown and he did. What
are you on about?

516
00:28:30,371 --> 00:28:31,559
Luke's dad.

517
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,139
Boy, he's doing a family thing in here.
Family thing?

518
00:28:34,140 --> 00:28:40,200
Is the phone wrong?

519
00:28:44,459 --> 00:28:47,649
So, how many brothers and sisters did he
have then, Bob Morgan?

520
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:49,330
I don't remember.

521
00:28:49,820 --> 00:28:52,960
I know he had a sister I might have
known like.

522
00:28:54,340 --> 00:28:56,330
The family had a bit of money, I
suppose.

523
00:28:56,331 --> 00:29:00,099
His father ran Morgan Kemp back at the
Rasshousie. Oh, I remember that. Pill

524
00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,150
-popping factory.

525
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,960
Pill -packing factory.

526
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:08,239
So, when Rob got your mum up the duff,
his parents were gutted like. So they

527
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:09,800
sold the lot and moved to Canada.

528
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,780
Became a builder or something.

529
00:29:11,781 --> 00:29:13,679
Yeah, asphalt reconstruction.

530
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:14,730
I looked it up.

531
00:29:14,731 --> 00:29:16,759
Proper little detective, isn't he?

532
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,230
Anyway, stunning for me that he left,
obviously.

533
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,900
Because I've got your mum, and him, and
you.

534
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,660
And me? And then you've got me?

535
00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:25,150
Aye, aye.

536
00:29:26,180 --> 00:29:28,420
Best not to mention Rob Destella,
though.

537
00:29:29,020 --> 00:29:30,420
Bit of a sore point, mate.

538
00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:37,280
Winning soul with a winning kick.

539
00:29:38,730 --> 00:29:45,649
His rugby -playing powers meant that
victory was ours. So we lay down all

540
00:29:45,650 --> 00:29:48,150
our flowers for the kick.

541
00:29:48,690 --> 00:29:50,810
We miss you, Dick.

542
00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:59,629
Friends, I'm sure that seeing such a
good turnout today would have made

543
00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:06,410
Dick a very proud Dick, a very happy
Dick, a Dick Ticklepink.

544
00:30:07,790 --> 00:30:14,629
if he was alive today, which, of course,
he isn't, because this is

545
00:30:14,630 --> 00:30:15,970
his funeral.

546
00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:22,710
Augie, Augie, Augie.

547
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:44,820
Thank you, Neil.

548
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:55,679
And now, last but not least, Alan
Williams, youth rugby coach and

549
00:30:55,680 --> 00:31:00,279
of Dick, would like to say a few words
in memory

550
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:04,080
of the legend himself.

551
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,130
Go for it, boy.

552
00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:28,700
Like many men before him, Dick Jenkins
was a revolutionary.

553
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,700
Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

554
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:45,000
But what exactly did Dick Jenkins have
in common with Colonel Goddard?

555
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,930
I know.

556
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,010
I'm a fool.

557
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,410
I'll let you all down.

558
00:31:49,411 --> 00:31:51,999
Well, I, for one, thought they were
stunning.

559
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,050
Really? Why?

560
00:31:53,540 --> 00:31:56,730
A woman from the West, a male, said I
should be ashamed of myself.

561
00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:59,190
Said I brought Dick's reputation to
disrepute.

562
00:31:59,191 --> 00:32:00,699
She's full of it, that one.

563
00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:02,500
You compared him to a knockout woman.

564
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,580
He invented the NHS.

565
00:32:30,899 --> 00:32:32,520
Sorry? Hey, Mr Manners.

566
00:32:32,521 --> 00:32:35,359
What have I said? I've been talking with
you mouthful.

567
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,819
Can't understand a word you're saying.

568
00:32:36,820 --> 00:32:37,960
Are we dancing or what?

569
00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:40,110
Come on then.

570
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,540
And by the way, that's illegal.

571
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,200
So sue me.

572
00:32:55,470 --> 00:32:56,520
Oh, my God.

573
00:32:56,610 --> 00:32:58,270
I have died and gone to wedding.

574
00:32:58,550 --> 00:33:00,130
No, didn't they kick us?

575
00:33:01,110 --> 00:33:02,430
Seen them hunky -bearers?

576
00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:05,740
Definitely off to more funerals if this
is what they like.

577
00:33:06,830 --> 00:33:09,840
There's more people arriving every
minute. It's fantastic.

578
00:33:10,470 --> 00:33:14,809
Yeah, I know. What a send -off. Well,
I'm just glad we could do Dick's memory

579
00:33:14,810 --> 00:33:16,850
justice. You've done that all right.

580
00:33:16,851 --> 00:33:20,469
People have been talking about this for
years.

581
00:33:20,470 --> 00:33:23,060
Right, time for seconds, I think. No,
help yourself.

582
00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:27,960
Just... Let me have the address, the
bill, dice.

583
00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:29,350
Oops.

584
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,800
Before I get too many of these down me.

585
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:33,550
Bill?

586
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,130
Well, in voice, she means. Well, in real
life. Yeah, whatever you say.

587
00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:39,650
His kids, is it? But I haven't met them
yet.

588
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,000
Dick didn't have no kids.

589
00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:44,240
Well, whoever's in charge of his estate,
then?

590
00:33:44,860 --> 00:33:47,630
All Dick's estate was in them plastic
bags out the back.

591
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,280
Well, plus where he kept his car.

592
00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:53,970
Paul, you did know Dick didn't have no
money.

593
00:33:54,620 --> 00:33:55,670
He was potless.

594
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,490
Why do you think I sent the lads down
creek for him?

595
00:33:58,860 --> 00:34:01,640
He weren't cold and the council was
clear in his flat.

596
00:34:04,700 --> 00:34:05,760
But he was legend.

597
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,160
He must have had something.

598
00:34:09,060 --> 00:34:10,760
Reputation. That's what he had.

599
00:34:11,219 --> 00:34:14,300
He kicked that kick in 53 and quit the
game a year later.

600
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:19,019
Never had to work for nothing after
that. Wherever he went, the people of

601
00:34:19,020 --> 00:34:20,220
showered him with stuff.

602
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:22,440
Food, beer, whatever he wanted.

603
00:34:23,190 --> 00:34:26,489
We owed him a debt of gratitude, see?
And we paid in full.

604
00:34:27,429 --> 00:34:28,810
And what about my bill?

605
00:34:29,409 --> 00:34:31,389
You wouldn't have paid in full for that.

606
00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:33,510
But the club just assumed.

607
00:34:33,850 --> 00:34:34,900
She would.

608
00:34:35,590 --> 00:34:36,640
Oh, God.

609
00:34:45,830 --> 00:34:46,880
Oswebs.

610
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,830
All people are dancing now and I'm
scared.

611
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,120
Can I bring her along?

612
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,340
Only if you don't look at me or ask me
what umbilical means.

613
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,700
Em, have you seen Bobby anywhere?

614
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,140
Oh, driving with Daddy.

615
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,470
Bobby! Hey, tell me you're mad you're
going to go pro. What do you think?

616
00:35:18,540 --> 00:35:19,880
I think we've got a problem.

617
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:27,960
I was already overdrawn before I started
this bloody job.

618
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,370
Come on, Nola.

619
00:35:29,371 --> 00:35:30,419
We'll sort it.

620
00:35:30,420 --> 00:35:33,660
How? We ain't got no money to sort it.

621
00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:39,340
Oh, my God, she'd lost the plop.

622
00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:42,280
What have I done?

623
00:35:42,980 --> 00:35:46,140
Oh, babes, it's not your fault.

624
00:35:46,780 --> 00:35:48,940
Why the hell didn't Di say something?

625
00:35:49,660 --> 00:35:51,020
Di Davis or Di Koch?

626
00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:53,500
He thought I knew, didn't he?

627
00:35:58,161 --> 00:36:02,469
Extras? Already on time and a half, as
it is.

628
00:36:02,470 --> 00:36:03,520
What extras?

629
00:36:03,521 --> 00:36:06,309
Well, where do you think all them foxy
bearers came from? Not from Ponte Verde,

630
00:36:06,310 --> 00:36:10,310
I can tell you. Oh, I'm going to kill
it! No, no, no. It wasn't him.

631
00:36:11,030 --> 00:36:12,310
It was my idea.

632
00:36:13,650 --> 00:36:14,700
Oh, what?

633
00:36:14,770 --> 00:36:18,910
Same as the jerseys and the carriage and
Neil bloody Kinnock.

634
00:36:19,230 --> 00:36:20,670
It's Lord Kinnock, actually.

635
00:36:22,070 --> 00:36:23,120
Oh, God.

636
00:36:24,230 --> 00:36:26,170
I'm such a complete dip.

637
00:36:27,550 --> 00:36:29,110
Don't Dick have nothing at all?

638
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,570
Not a sausage.

639
00:36:30,571 --> 00:36:31,639
What about his ball?

640
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,520
The one he kicked the kick thing,
whatever.

641
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,800
People would pin arm and leg for that.

642
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,880
We buried it with him.

643
00:36:43,020 --> 00:36:44,340
You know, we could dig it up.

644
00:36:44,341 --> 00:36:47,159
Them grave diggers are lazy buggers. I
bet they haven't even sunk him yet. I

645
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,210
stabbed it.

646
00:36:48,211 --> 00:36:50,679
I stabbed the ball before he put it in
the coffin. It was the only way I could

647
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,730
get it in.

648
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,880
No one has to know he did that.

649
00:36:59,530 --> 00:37:00,580
Paul, isn't it?

650
00:37:07,910 --> 00:37:08,960
No, please don't.

651
00:37:09,110 --> 00:37:10,970
Anyway. Come on!

652
00:37:12,570 --> 00:37:14,650
£5 a strip. Not going to break the bank.

653
00:37:14,651 --> 00:37:15,989
What's the price?

654
00:37:15,990 --> 00:37:17,040
Out of this world.

655
00:37:17,070 --> 00:37:18,120
Not ten or even there.

656
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:19,660
Even better.

657
00:37:19,950 --> 00:37:21,070
The ball.

658
00:37:21,430 --> 00:37:22,870
The dick, the cake. Cake, cake.

659
00:37:23,090 --> 00:37:24,250
Shut up.

660
00:37:24,970 --> 00:37:27,200
Better take you to all the Canarian
Islands.

661
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,830
You can't raffle off something so
precious.

662
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,220
That should be in a museum.

663
00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:32,860
It could be in Alan's museum.

664
00:37:33,801 --> 00:37:36,739
Put me down for 20 quid's worth.

665
00:37:36,740 --> 00:37:37,790
Come on.

666
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,470
Where exactly is it going, this blue
pack?

667
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,910
On Dick's house, the place where he was
born.

668
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,590
He'd have a job if they'd pulled it down
30 years ago.

669
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,920
There's a playground there now.

670
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,320
That's why the plaque's going on the...
Climbing frame?

671
00:37:54,620 --> 00:37:56,910
Yeah, in the exact same spot as his
front door.

672
00:38:04,069 --> 00:38:05,690
Roll up, roll up.

673
00:38:06,210 --> 00:38:09,670
This is your one and only chance to do a
deck.

674
00:38:09,890 --> 00:38:13,610
Five out of cake. If you can score a
cake like Dick did, you'll win the lot.

675
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:16,270
Colin Jackson, you've got to be up for
it.

676
00:38:16,271 --> 00:38:17,529
I don't know.

677
00:38:17,530 --> 00:38:19,549
Dick was called Dick the Kick for a
reason.

678
00:38:19,550 --> 00:38:20,990
A kick was nigh on impossible.

679
00:38:21,350 --> 00:38:23,640
Aye, you'd have to be thick even to
attempt it.

680
00:38:23,710 --> 00:38:25,270
Right, me first. Come on, then.

681
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:33,930
There you go, that's it. Fiver, thank
you.

682
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,570
Fiver, lovely. Oh, cheers, lad. Thank
you very much.

683
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,160
Come on, get your fivers on.

684
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,450
Get in there.

685
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:41,920
Right, what about it?

686
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,900
Dear Rob Morgan, my name is Ben.

687
00:38:45,220 --> 00:38:48,110
You do not know me, but you might
remember my brother Luke.

688
00:38:48,220 --> 00:38:49,780
He is the son you have never seen.

689
00:38:49,781 --> 00:38:53,299
Isn't your mum going to go mental when
she finds out you wrote to him?

690
00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:55,280
She's not going to know, though, is she?

691
00:38:55,281 --> 00:38:59,359
Please will you tell me more about your
side of the family, because Luke's bit

692
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:00,620
on my family tree is empty.

693
00:39:00,621 --> 00:39:04,509
Luke is doing really well, and we're all
looking forward to him coming out of

694
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:05,560
prison next month.

695
00:39:05,810 --> 00:39:07,850
All the best, Ben Carlin -Morris.

696
00:39:17,030 --> 00:39:18,690
There we are. We're so dead.

697
00:39:19,410 --> 00:39:21,270
When am I going to get my outfit, then?

698
00:39:21,630 --> 00:39:22,680
Who cares?

699
00:39:22,850 --> 00:39:24,900
No one's going to be looking at you,
babe.

700
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:44,490
Here we are, Paul.

701
00:39:44,491 --> 00:39:47,779
It's not all of it, but let's just say
you won't be overdrawn much more than

702
00:39:47,780 --> 00:39:48,830
already was.

703
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:56,820
What would I do without you?

704
00:39:57,860 --> 00:39:58,910
One or me.

705
00:40:01,060 --> 00:40:04,880
And you are bloody brilliant, too.

706
00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:07,710
I need a fit.

707
00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,440
Did I tell you you were fit?

708
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:11,080
You might have mentioned me.

709
00:40:16,910 --> 00:40:18,770
Oh, I'm not thinking about you no more.

710
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:20,630
I'm thinking about my date.

711
00:40:21,070 --> 00:40:22,120
What date?

712
00:40:22,710 --> 00:40:25,190
What? One of the actresses.

713
00:40:30,410 --> 00:40:32,070
He's taking me to Wookie Hall.

714
00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:34,110
You lot, over by here.

715
00:40:34,330 --> 00:40:35,380
We're on the tee.

716
00:40:38,490 --> 00:40:43,189
So earlier today, legendary Welsh rugby
star Dick the Kick Jenkins was given a

717
00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,189
hero's send -off.

718
00:40:44,190 --> 00:40:48,530
as the crowds took to the streets in his
hometown of Pontyferry. Hey, look,

719
00:40:48,610 --> 00:40:49,660
there's Di and Daddy.

720
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:56,769
Dick, who scored his legendary kick in
1953, rode to his final resting place in

721
00:40:56,770 --> 00:41:00,969
a horse -drawn carriage and even had
fellow Welshman Lord Neil Kinnock pay

722
00:41:00,970 --> 00:41:02,350
tribute to him in the chapel.

723
00:41:18,701 --> 00:41:21,319
You've been living here, then.

724
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,479
So I can't say I've noticed you till
recently.

725
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,730
And I thought everyone in Pontybury knew
everyone in Pontybury.

726
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:32,460
I got some work about a year ago. A big
painting contract over in Blackhill. Oh,

727
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:34,990
bloody English coming here, taking our
jobs.

728
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,240
I just like the place, I suppose.

729
00:41:37,700 --> 00:41:38,750
You never went home?

730
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,970
I never went home.

731
00:41:40,420 --> 00:41:41,620
See, and I've been funny.

732
00:41:41,621 --> 00:41:44,759
I've lived here all my life. Wouldn't
live nowhere else, to be honest with

733
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,070
But I can't imagine actually choosing to
live here. It's all right.

734
00:41:48,140 --> 00:41:49,280
I've got a good Chinese.

735
00:41:49,281 --> 00:41:52,799
True. Bit different to Liverpool now,
isn't it?

736
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:53,940
I'm not from Liverpool.

737
00:41:53,941 --> 00:41:55,819
I thought they called you Scouser Sean.

738
00:41:55,820 --> 00:41:58,220
They do. I don't know why, cos I'm from
Barnsley.

739
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,500
Well, this is me.

740
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,120
Thanks again for today, Sean from
Barnsley.

741
00:42:06,121 --> 00:42:07,539
You're a star.

742
00:42:07,540 --> 00:42:08,860
What, don't I get a coffee?

743
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:13,450
Sorry? That's what you normally get when
you walk someone home, isn't it?

744
00:42:14,860 --> 00:42:16,580
Hang on, you was walking me home.

745
00:42:16,581 --> 00:42:18,119
I thought you was just walking me home.

746
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,790
What? How old are you? 32.

747
00:42:20,010 --> 00:42:23,440
You're ten years younger than me, man.
You can't walk me home. Why not?

748
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:25,200
I don't know.

749
00:42:25,690 --> 00:42:30,790
Because... Look, Fresh, of course we can
have a coffee.

750
00:42:31,610 --> 00:42:34,630
But not a coffee, all right? Just a
coffee.

751
00:42:35,130 --> 00:42:37,730
Oh, well, I didn't pray like that, huh?

752
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,290
Mum! Quick!

753
00:42:40,650 --> 00:42:42,090
Oh, my God, what's happened?

754
00:42:47,340 --> 00:42:48,720
We've got a surprise for you.

755
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,090
What?

756
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:00,550
All right, Mum?

757
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:03,960
It's OK, he hasn't escaped.

758
00:43:04,300 --> 00:43:05,380
They let him out early.

759
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,600
Oh, my God, my baby boy.

760
00:43:08,180 --> 00:43:09,230
Come here.

761
00:43:14,060 --> 00:43:15,110
All right?

762
00:43:16,790 --> 00:43:18,230
That's Sean. He's got a Harley.

763
00:43:21,550 --> 00:43:23,110
Look, I'll leave you to it.

764
00:43:24,290 --> 00:43:25,370
Nice to meet you, Luke.

765
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:27,390
Yeah, I still love you still, bud.

766
00:43:29,090 --> 00:43:30,590
Good surprise, then, or what?

767
00:43:31,330 --> 00:43:33,690
No, it's not a good surprise, actually.

768
00:43:35,470 --> 00:43:37,990
It's a fan -bloody -tastic one.

769
00:43:43,391 --> 00:43:50,699
All you've got to do is drop off, get
the cash, and keep 20 back for yourself.

770
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,560
Easy. Until I get caught.

771
00:43:52,561 --> 00:43:56,059
But maybe I don't want to marry someone
who just stays at home all day and

772
00:43:56,060 --> 00:43:57,110
doesn't do nothing.

773
00:43:57,380 --> 00:43:59,060
I've got a little surprise for you.

774
00:43:59,420 --> 00:44:00,470
VIP tickets.

775
00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:02,180
My friend's already got us some.

776
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,050
A friend?

777
00:44:04,051 --> 00:44:07,379
You don't want to do that, mate. Yeah,
what do I want to do then, mate? Hey,

778
00:44:07,380 --> 00:44:08,429
come on, tell me!

779
00:44:08,430 --> 00:44:12,980
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